Here’s the thing about me. It’s hard for me to be alone. If you
leave me alone in my room with my computer for more than a few hours, I
have the tendency to get depressed.. My family doesn’t really know how
easily I can get broken when I have no one to talk to or spend time
with. (One of the primary reasons why I am writing this blog right now) If you don’t know me very well, you’d think I am a very cheery and bubbly person (which I am), but that is not all there is to me. It’s almost like when I am alone, everything around me gets a shade darker.
I’m a very hopeless romantic at heart, so one thing in life I’m sure I want is somebody to spend it with.
I already have tons of dreams and wishful thoughts about what I would do with my special someone when I find the right man. (Yes,
I know it’s funny to say this because I’m only eighteen years old. But
this is a blog and I’m basically leaving no room for your judgement!
They’re just my personal thoughts) Things like my dream Italian dinner date, or learning how to roller skate! ♥ (Because all of my friends are being such kill-joys for not wanting to roller skate with me. Grr :c)
I
love being around people I care about and taking care of them. I love
being there for them when they are sad and seeing them smile once again.
I love surprising them on their birthdays and making each one something
more exciting than the last time. I love making care packages with
sweets and goodies for my broken-hearted friends. I love giving them
advice when they come to me for it. I love being of service to them when
they need my help. I love going out of my way to help them out even if I
have no idea what I am doing!
That’s why troubles like being
away from my dad and family or spending the rest of my life alone drives
me crazy..Who will I love? Who will I make surprises for? Who can I
cheer up? Most importantly, who will I take care of?? :(
What if I don’t find the right one for me?
Not everyone finds someone. That’s why so many people are still alone right now.
What if I’m not as pretty as all the other girls for someone to like me?
Face it, we live in such a vain world it’s hard to find a man who would not give too much concern about appearances.
What if there is no one on the face of the earth who could accept me for who I am?
There’s
so much about me that is possibly detestable. I am cranky before I have
my cup of coffee in the morning, I don’t like being asked how many
minutes longer I’ll take to finish dressing up (haha this is probably my dad’s fault! lol),
I really do feel like crying when I am woken up during my afternoon
naps, I always get lost because I’m not good at directions (I don’t even know how I manage to drive), I am an extremely jealous type (This is one of the important things I have to ask God to help me work on) and the list goes on….
I
hope I can change, little by little. As I am growing deeper in my faith
with God, I am slowly letting go of everything I hope and dream of..
all my doubts and fears, I just want to lift up to Him. He comforts me
when there is no one else around. And at the end of the day, He reminds
me that He will never leave me like everyone else does. ♥ I am proud to
say now that even if I don’t find the right one for me, even if it’s
something I really really (really) want out of life, I will be
grateful for everything the Lord has given to me already. I will follow
His will for my life and what he thinks is best for me. If it directs me
towards being single for life, then I will still be with Him forever,
and nothing else could matter more. :)
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