I choose to Be Happy

So boys and relationships have been frequent topics of discussion in most of my social groups, lately. College friends, high school friends, church friends and even facebook friends. I really like thinking about my ideal relationship because I feel so at peace with myself nowadays. Fear is slowly losing it's grip on me because I have come to realize the love of an opposite force in the universe. A force so forgiving, gentle and loving-- the force of the heavens. I used to be afraid to get into a new relationship. Even thinking about it made me afraid because I felt I couldn't find anybody I'd think I was worthy enough to be with. I was scared because I felt relationships were all harmful, and it was 'normal' for relationships to be filled with excruciating heartache.. Once I came to God, he opened my eyes to His promises. He showed me that through Him nothing is impossible. He made me believe in the beauty of a relationship that could be waiting out there for me someday.

But God knows how easily I can hurt. That is why with this hope to find something beautiful, I feel he gave me a cushion to land on just in case I ever felt unsafe. This cushion is the soft landing spot of peace. He also gave me the peace to accept that maybe I won't find someone to love in this lifetime. That's something I never could've accepted before. I couldn't live with the fact that that one thing I knew I was destined to become could be just an illusion or a broken dream I held on to. But now everything has changed. God's love fills me in so deep I feel it's alright if I don't get to find a man of my own. He is my first love and He's all that I need. I'd love for His blessing of a relationship for my future but if He decides otherwise, I want to choose to honor that. So far I've realized God has given me two gifts-- hope and peace.

His third gift, I believe has come as a product of the first two. This is what I feel is the passion for life. Surviving after a break-up is not easy. Believing in something you feel might never come is tiring. Trusting in God's plan despite it being the opposite of everything you've ever wanted can be painful. All of these things are reasons why I should sulk and become a miserable fool who cares nothing about others or the beauty of the life that still exists, yet I choose to be happy.

Today, I want to make a commitment to myself to be a constant encourager to my co-single friends. And knowing that I'll be their support will be my encouragement along the way. :)

Today, I choose to be happy.